Full Metal Schoolgirl review: The mean streets of production

Sometimes, while scrolling through the eShop, you stumble upon a game that promises a life-changing experience. Occasionally, it doesn’t quite live up to the hype, but you still enjoy a few laughs along the way. That’s exactly what happened when I tried *Full Metal Schoolgirl*, the second game released in October 2025 from former WWE developer and occasional Earth Defense Force contributor, Yuke’s.

### A Game with Energy and Humor, but Shallow Gameplay

While *Full Metal Schoolgirl* bursts with energy and boasts a dynamite sense of humor, its gameplay feels deeply undercooked and fails to stand out in an oversaturated genre.

### When Even the Work Bots Are Sick of the Boss’s Crap

The premise is timely and intriguing. In the world of *Full Metal Schoolgirl*, corporate ownership dominates. A labor crisis has been “solved” by replacing human workers with cyborgs—a nearly fully inorganic workforce happy to push papers, tap away at computers, and perform endless tasks without complaint. Of course, widespread abuse follows.

Enter two colorful cyborg ladies, far more vibrant than their legions of coworkers, who have had enough. They’re set on taking revenge.

The goal? To defeat the evil CEO of Meternal Jobz by climbing a 100-floor skyscraper, dismantling the entire corporate management structure, and eventually facing the man at the top.

At first glance, it might appear to be just low-rent, anime-flavored cheesecake. But *Full Metal Schoolgirl* is really a chaotic workplace satire—and a surprisingly funny one, at that. I preferred the dubbed version to catch every bit of the enemies’ sad, office culture-filtered whimpering as I took them down.

The theme song is absolutely unhinged, and pretty much every aspect of the localization is on point. The world-building and flavor in this game are a riot, and the translation efforts deserve high praise.

### The Disappointment of Shallow Gameplay

I was ready to have a blast based on these vibes alone, but unfortunately, I walked away wishing this premise were tied to a better game.

*Full Metal Schoolgirl* is a roguelike—because, well, nowadays everything seems to be a roguelike. While I’m exaggerating, it would be refreshing to see more balance, especially as titles like *Ninja Gaiden 4* emerge.

The problem here isn’t the genre choice, but the game’s unapologetically generic and flavorless progression system.

Between runs, you collect resources to increase your stats. As your stats improve, you’re better equipped to take down bosses, unlocking higher levels. Beyond that, little changes. Some new abilities unlock over time, but they feel more like tutorial gates than meaningful additions.

### Simplistic Combat and Minimal Variety

The action mechanics are painfully simple and rarely evolve. Expect basic physical attack combos and weapons that behave exactly as you’d expect—textbook stuff with no surprises. All other enhancements are passive modifiers, barely impacting gameplay, such as slight boosts to stamina regeneration or maximum HP.

Weapons appear between rooms but only affect number values without changing how the game feels. This barely meets the minimum expectations of a roguelike, especially compared to the genre’s innovations in recent years, with new ideas, mashups, and complexities becoming the norm.

### Brainless Battling Reminiscent of User-Made Content

What *Full Metal Schoolgirl* most reminds me of is user-generated roguelike maps in games like *Fortnite*. You start in a lobby with floating weapons to pick from, then fight through waves of generic, unchanging enemies using straightforward mechanics—only to loop back and grind numbers higher in hopes of edging closer to the end.

The difference is, you’re not chasing a battle pass or cosmetic unlocks. You’re simply grinding because it’s what the game requires.

### Final Thoughts

I had high hopes heading into *Full Metal Schoolgirl*. The pitch was simple: “Hello, I want to play this because it looks insane.” The promise of a cathartic, satirical jab at real-world labor structures had me excited for something special.

But once the dreaded loop kicked in, I realized I was in for several hours of grinding and bland, chicken-coded combat.

So, it goes.

*Full Metal Schoolgirl* launched on October 23, 2025, for the PC, Nintendo Switch 2, and PlayStation 5. A Switch 2 review code was kindly provided by the publisher.
https://www.shacknews.com/article/146472/full-metal-schoolgirl-review-score

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